sighh. clinic yesterday went veryyyy badly...
got really sad after that.
and the more i think about it...
the more i think that this isn't what i want to do for the rest of my life. but i have to do it. if not all my school fees would have been wasted! i remember daph going through this phase with dentistry too... i was really enjoying optom till now... i hate the pressure to excel. the pressure to perform.... the competition between the 45 of us in the year.
its hardly a fulfilling job too.
and i overheard these 2 5th years talking in the library about their plans for the future. one of them was like "i've been in uni for nine years... i wish i knew what i wanted to do earlier... and now i have to do this, but this is still not it."

and i REALLY didn't buy it when that miss uni contestant in fourth year stood on stage saying, "my life long dream is to treat people suffereing from eye diseases and help people with poor vision see again".

like real.

everyone dreams of being
a pilot
a painter
a writer
a photographer
a dancer
a doctor
a firefighter
an actor
a rock star

nobody dreams of being an optometrist. now i really doubt anyone would wanna hire me when i graduate... i better buck up. i was just picturing myself going to work everyday... working in a dark room by myself with a patient... what if, i didn't know what to do with him/her! what if i didn't spot some defect and get sued... sigh, im really scared.

its the first few hours into the holidays and i woke up at like...830 to do... work! its silly but i really dont want to fall behind.

very simply, it has occurred to me that i have to mature well beyond my years in the next 2 years. actually, just act my age.

but i guess it has its perks too sometimes. cheer up di. life's too short to have a bad attitude.

// posted by diana at 9:46 AM :: 1 comments